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美国单口相声演员  

2008-07-07 09:25:02|  分类: 默认分类 |  标签: |举报 |字号 订阅

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暑假一到,HBO电视台就出现了一个新版块“欢乐家庭时间”,晚上8点开始,10点结束。我其实挺烦这个版块,填塞的不是动画片就是科幻片,在永无止境的平庸和不可思议的瞎扯之间摇荡。作为一个重口味的成年人,我中意的都是“那种”片子,在讨好小孩的“欢乐家庭时间”里肯定得不到满足。之后看到了乔治·卡林去世的消息,从没想过这个美国“单口相声”界的激进人物跟我的业余娱乐会有什么关联,可他,正是“欢乐家庭时间”的罪魁祸首。 

那是1972年了。青年“单口相声”演员乔治·卡林因为不满越战,又受到“嬉皮文化”的蛊惑,毅然放弃了在电视台当主持人的优渥工作,准备把自己包装成一个小型人体炸弹对他所厌倦的社会发起反攻。他脱掉西装和领带,换以牛仔裤和破T恤衫,鬓须浓密,长发飞扬,辗转于纽约和拉斯维加斯的夜总会,施展那嘴皮子功夫。他不满“单口相声”演员每天只傻呵呵出现在晚间节目中,讲讲花园汽车购物中心这种不痛不痒的小段以博深闺怨妇一乐,他期望这种艺术形式富有力量,他要做社会问题的剖析员和“单口相声”界的哲学家。表演内容开始出现战争、毒品和性,借助那色彩斑斓、妙趣横生的语言——也就是脏话——来演示。其中最著名的是“7个在电视上不能说的词”,作为招牌段子,乔治·卡林屡屡拿出来献艺,其中有两次他被拉斯维加斯的夜总会老板给扔了出去,还有一次,他刚从威斯康星州的一家酒吧舞台上下来,就被铐起来带回警局。罪名是在公共场合连续、反复说脏话“扰乱了公共安宁”。交了150美元被保释出来,之后开庭审判,当庭法官认为虽下流,但以言论自由原则将其释放。此后乔治·卡林更以这“7个不能说的词”而得意,还录了一盘卡带发行。1978年他在纽约广播电台再次表演后,纽约州政府再也受不了啦,提请了最高法院通过法令,在电视与广播媒体中设置“家庭时间”,肃清一切淫秽、暴力与脏话,以净小孩视听。 

如今这条法令早已到期,但美国所有的公共电视、广播媒体仍保留着“家庭时间”传统,只不过有时候出于道义,有时候是收视考虑,形式而已。真想找到什么,看到什么,网络还不是博大精深,我就在YOUTUBE上看到了乔治·卡林那著名的“7个在电视上不能说的词”。他用一张怀有绝技的嘴把那7个词念得像顺口溜,反复几遍,再分别讲解,这么用是脏话,那么用是正经话,再用是笑话,如果不是观众的咯咯作笑打断,估计他会不间歇得吧下去。可以说相当无聊。但有一个地方场下鸦雀无声,台上这人说:“语言仅仅是语言,不存在脏的话,只有肮脏的意图,肮脏的思想。” 

这就是乔治·卡林自我塑造、也被后世所承认的富有哲学气味的语言大师形象。早先他就是一在纽约长大的高中肄业生,因为很贫,在参军时被分配到电台。那场面大概跟罗宾·威廉斯的《早安越南》很像,但是等等,罗宾能有机会演上电影,还要谢谢乔治·卡林。他在1960年代末就显露出卓尔不群的架势,一改“单口相声”用语粗陋的传统,大玩儿“矛盾修辞”,诸如“庞然的小虾”,“雄武的智慧”。一次表演中干脆来了这么一段话:“我曾被上传又被下载,被输入又被输出,我了解坠落的上端,也了解上升的底部。我是过着高科技生活的原始人,我锋利、迅捷、像东海岸掮客一样在十亿分之一秒中内呈现给你们十亿!”这些缭乱的词汇除了有炫技成分,也使“单口相声”抛弃了原本的草根观众,主动选择了有教育背景的阶层。 

所谓“枪杆子理论”在西方的盛行,大概说的就是70年代。据说那是最后的黄金时代,好莱坞混混,摇滚乐歌手,还有“单口相声”演员,他们都在那时从底层发起进攻,梦想占领主流文化的高地。写好莱坞的有本书《逍遥骑士,愤怒公牛——新好莱坞内幕》(恰好此书刚出中文版),描摹了那群在那无限深广的镜子迷宫里迷失方向的家伙,与此如出一辙的则是写“单口相声”的《刀锋上的喜剧——喜剧如何改变1970年代的美国》,它们都用备忘录的广度和花边小报的语言描写了那时的事,那些如果是真就简直太可怕了的事。乔治·卡林在书里被大加溢美为“不可回避的时代标杆”,他活跃在没完没了的夜总会欢乐和一袋子一袋子可卡因中,让人疑惑这些荒唐事儿怎么会造就了时代标杆,但紧接着,严肃和激荡的事情发生了——罢工。

 不像又卷土重来的好莱坞编剧罢工那么文雅和复杂,1970年代的“单口相声”演员们流了真正的血,喊着干脆利落的口号——NO MONEY,NO FUNNY。星星之火在拉斯维加斯的“喜剧商店”俱乐部开始点燃,俱乐部老板是一漂亮、唠叨的精瘦女人,她像当时所有俱乐部老板一样,认为俱乐部是“单口相声”演员的进修学校,他们在那里练习口才,运气好了还能被猎头相中进了电视台,不要钱就不错了,怎么可能给钱?乔治·卡林站在了罢工警戒线的前列,是当时最知名也最顽固的罢工领导人。罢工从1975年开始,到1979年仍在全美星星点点延续,有的人厌倦了,有的给了点小钱又返工,乔治·卡林并不缺衣少食,但他就像个被饿红了眼睛的刺头,直到全美俱乐部将付给“单口相声”演员工钱作为行规,他才收手。他不仅在表演内容上要对大事件发言,连带着“单口相声”演员的地位也往前蹿了蹿。 

之后所有人都享受着胜利果实,包括乔治·卡林,他的几张专辑获得了4次格莱美奖,在喜剧演员中绝无仅有,现场表演5次被艾美奖提名。晚年他越发阴郁,屡屡在表演中渎神和宣讲人类末日,可客串体育解说时又死性不改,比如宣称“世界上只有三种体育运动:棒球、篮球和足球。曲棍球?不过是三种行为的结合:滑冰,追球和撞人。游泳?那是为了不沉下去……”而那些出身“单口相声”演员的家伙受他恩泽,过着着实不赖的生活,他们包括进军电影界的史蒂夫·马丁和罗宾·威廉斯,“月亮上的男人”安迪·考夫曼,全民谐星约翰·斯图尔德…… 

所谓的美国“单口相声”,其实是“stand-up comedy”,一种起源于19世纪末,由一人表演,不借助任何道具(话筒除外)和场景的喜剧表演形式。表演者一开始是热场的,后来还可以兼任报幕员,再后来,就是乔治·卡林参与创造的好时候。还传入过香港,在粤语中被翻译成“栋笃笑”(一个人站着说笑)。它的确跟我们的单口相声非常象, 可在美国人的解释中,“stand-up comedy”比中国的相声高级,因为前者还会引人思考。可以说是乔治·卡林把针砭时弊的元素注入了“stand-up comedy”,又是谁使相声失去了这些?我也不知道。 

那“7个不能说的词”其实是:Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, CockSucker, MotherFucker, and Tits。

段子如下: 

I love words. I thank you for hearing my words.I want to tell you something about words that I think is important.They're my work, they're my play, they're my passion.Words are all we have, really. We have thoughts but thoughts are fluid.then we assign a word to a thought and we're stuck with that word forthat thought, so be careful with words. I like to think that the samewords that hurt can heal, it is a matter of how you pick them.There are some people that are not into all the words.There are some that would have you not use certain words.There are 400,000 words in the English language and there are 7of them you can't say on television. What a ratio that is.399,993 to 7. They must really be bad. They'd have to be outrageousto be seperated from a group that large. All of you over here,you 7,Bad Words. That's what they told us they were, remember?"That's a bad word!" No bad words, bad thoughts, bad intentions,and words. You know the 7, don't you, that you can't say on television?"Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, CockSucker, MotherFucker, and Tits"Those are the heavy seven. Those are the ones that'll infect your soul,curve your spine, and keep the country from winning the war."Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, CockSucker, MotherFucker, and Tits"Wow! ...and Tits doesn't even belong on the list. That is such a friendlysounding word. It sounds like a nickname, right? "Hey, Tits, come here,man. Hey Tits, meet Toots. Toots, Tits. Tits, Toots." It sounds like asnack, doesn't it? Yes, I know, it is a snack. I don't mean your sexistsnack. I mean New Nabisco Tits!, and new Cheese Tits, Corn Tits,Pizza Tits, Sesame Tits, Onion Tits, Tater Tits. "Betcha Can't Eat JustOne." That's true. I usually switch off. But I mean, that word doesnot belong on the list. Actually none of the words belong on the list,but you can understand why some of them are there. I'm notcompletely insensetive to people's feelings. I can understand whysome of those words got on the list, like CockSucker andMotherFucker. Those are heavyweight words. There is a lot going onthere. Besides the literal translation and the emotional feeling.I mean, they're just busy words. There's a lot of syllables to contendwith. And those Ks, those are agressive sounds. They just jump out atyou like "coCKsuCKer, motherfuCKer. coCKsuCKer, motherfuCKer."It's like an assualt on you. We mentioned Shit earlier, and 2 of theother 4-letter Anglo-Saxon words are Piss and Cunt, which gotogether of course. A little accedental humor there. The reason thatPiss and Cunt are on the list is because a long time ago, there werecertain ladies that said "Those are the 2 I am not going to say. Idon't mind Fuck and Shit but 'P' and 'C' are out.", which led to suchstupid sentences as "Okay you fuckers, I'm going to tinckle now."And, of course, the word Fuck. I don't really, well that's moreaccedental humor, I don't wanna get into that now because I thinkit takes to long. But I do mean that. I think the word Fuck is a veryimprortant word. It is the beginning of life, yet it is a word we use tohurt one another quite often. People much wiser than I am said,"I'd rather have my son watch a  film with 2 people making lovethan 2 people trying to kill one another. I, of course, can agree. It isa great sentence. I wish I knew who said it first. I agree with that butI like to take it a step further. I'd like to substitute the word Fuck forthe word Kill in all of those movie cliches we grew up with. "Okay,Sherrif, we're gonna Fuck you now, but we're gonna Fuck you slow."So maybe next year I'll have a whole fuckin' ramp on the N word.I hope so. Those are the 7 you can never say on television, under anycircumstanses. You just cannot say them ever ever ever. Not evenclinically. You cannot weave them in on the panel with Doc, and Ed,and Johnny. I mean, it is just impossible. Forget tHose 7. They're out.But there are some 2-way words, those double-meaning words.Remember the ones you giggled at in sixth grade? "...And the cockCROWED 3 times" "Hey, tha cock CROWED 3 times. ha ha ha ha. Hey, it's inthe bible. ha ha ha ha. There are some 2-way words, like it is okay forKirk Youdi to say "Roberto Clametti has 2 balls on him.", but he can'tsay "I think he hurt his balls on that play, Tony. Don't you? He's holdingthem. He must've hurt them, by God." and the other 2-way word thatgoes with that one is Prik. It's okay if it happens to your finger. Youcan prik your finger but don't finger your prik. No,no.
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